Breaking the Taboo
Here at WidowsFire, we aim to break the taboo and openly discuss the reality of sex while grieving. Losing your soulmate and lover does not necessarily mean losing your libido. In fact, quite the opposite can happen, and your sex drive may go into overdrive – akin to being a hormonal teenager again, minus the acne!
What you are experiencing is entirely natural and normal. ‘Widow’s fire’ is a phenomenon widely recognised by medical professionals and counsellors. At times, you may feel an uncontrollable desire for sex. After sharing your bed, body, heart, and soul with your late partner for many years, the emptiness of your bed becomes a constant reminder of what you have lost, making it a very lonely place.
We aim to create a safe space to discuss and explore these feelings. We understand that if you have suffered a bereavement, you may not be emotionally ready or in a position to enter a committed, serious relationship. WidowsFire is a community of people who comprehend exactly what you’ve been through, understand your feelings, and empathise with the confusion you may be facing.
Whether you’re seeking chat, phone or virtual sex, or a friends-with-benefits type arrangement, you can be honest about your desires and boundaries. Flirting and connecting with others can provide a delightful distraction from the dark days of grief. Many of us have found that exploring our feelings of widow’s fire has empowered us to rediscover our identities, which might have been lost in the depths of grief.
The thrill and excitement of getting matches and messaging, and possibly arranging a date, can be invigorating. Remember to date safely by reading our safety tips. On my first widow’s fire/no strings date, I made a genuine effort to feel attractive and dare I say it, sexy. I booked a makeover, got my hair and makeup done, had a manicure, shaved my legs, and even visited Victoria’s Secret to overhaul my underwear drawer – it helped boost my confidence.
