Casual Sex vs Companionship: What Do You Actually Want After Loss?
After loss, the question of what you want next is rarely as straightforward as people imagine. There is often an assumption that if you are considering connection again, you must be looking for some version of the same thing: companionship, emotional closeness, or perhaps the beginning of another relationship. But what many widows discover is that desire does not always point in that direction. Sometimes what is wanted is companionship. Sometimes it is physical intimacy. Sometimes it is something harder to name because the two have become entangled.
Why Grief Can Increase Libido
Grief is often described in ways that make it sound passive. It is spoken about as emptiness, numbness, exhaustion, absence. All of those things can be true, but they do not tell the whole story. For many people, grief is also deeply physical. It can feel restless, intense, disorienting, and at times surprisingly alive in the body. That is one of the reasons it can be so difficult to understand when sexual desire appears in the middle of it.
Why Sex After Loss Can Bring Unexpected Emotions
It is often assumed that the most significant part of intimacy after loss is the experience itself. In reality, what many people notice most clearly is what happens afterwards. The emotional response that follows can feel unexpected, not necessarily because it is intense, but because it does not always align with what you anticipated.
What to Say Before Casual Sex
The idea of having a conversation about expectations before intimacy can feel uncomfortable, not because it is inherently difficult, but because it is unfamiliar. Most people are used to situations where expectations develop gradually, rather than being stated directly.
Embracing Intimacy After Loss: Your Guide to Rebuilding Connection
Embracing Intimacy After Loss: A Gentle Guide by Angela Vossen
Rebuilding emotional and physical connection after the loss of a partner is a deeply personal journey—one often filled with hope, hesitation, and healing. In this heartfelt guide, relationship and sex coach Angela Vossen (from sextasy) offers supportive, practical steps to help you reconnect with your body, open up to new relationships, and embrace intimacy at your own pace.
Drawing from Chapter 2’s research and her coaching experience, Angela shares how to navigate guilt, rebuild trust, and rediscover your spark—with compassion and courage.
Ready to take your next small step?
Read the full guide and join the conversation in the Chapter 2 forum.
From Hacienda to Heartbreak…to Healing

In her rawest and most revealing conversation yet, Nicky joins Sarah Knight on the It’s Got Pockets podcast to unpack the unimaginable…losing the love of her life, navigating solo parenting through grief, getting sober, and rediscovering purpose in the aftermath of heartbreak.
From the darkest moments to rebuilding with humour, grit, and honesty, Nicky shares what it really means to begin again, at any age.
If you’ve ever wondered how to keep going when life falls apart, this story is for you.
